What price pretending?

Many of the Introverts I work with tell me they’re tired of pretending to be something they’re not just so they can fit in. Worse than that, some realise that they are being inauthentic and compromising their values.

We are all capable, to greater or lesser degrees, of flexing our behaviour appropriately. But, it’s the constant expectation to be more extraverted that is really taking its toll on Introverts.

What are the big ‘pretends’ I notice?

· Pretending to stay engaged in meetings and teamwork. When our mental, social and emotional batteries are running low, what we really need to do is go somewhere quiet to recharge.

· Pretending to agree with a decision because we know we won’t be given the time we need to reflect and reach our own conclusions.

· Pretending to enjoy the chatter of friends and colleagues when our heads are already full to bursting. We often stay in there because we’ve been accused of being rude or standoffish in the past.

· Pretending to be OK with open plan office set-ups. When the people and general noise is so distracting, we find it difficult focus effectively on our work.

· Pretending to be ‘fine’ and wearing a ‘game-face’, when we’re actually not OK!

How many of those have you employed yourself?

Introverts may also pretend in order to protect and defend our need for replenishment. Some introverts

· pretend to be out when the doorbell rings

· pretend to be busy when invited to social events

· screen calls and only selectively answer texts

· accept invitations to social events knowing that they’re unlikely to attend or that they’ll decide on the day depending on how charged their batteries are

Recognise any of these? You may even feel guilty about these actions, but either feel you can’t explain your needs to others or when you’ve tried, you’ve been judged harshly.

So, what’s the answer?

In simple terms it’s to stop pretending. Through Flourishing Introverts, I enable positive Introverts to identify, own and confidently use their qualities and strengths authentically. The benefits of doing this are huge including better balance in the workplace, enhanced self-esteem and self-worth and being able to ask for what they need without fear, shame or guilt.

Get in touch with me when you are ready to stop pretending. Book an informal and free of charge chat with me here or email me if you’d prefer at Joanna@flourishingintroverts.com

Let us know what you think…



Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

More Like This

Related Posts

The Challenge Of Learning The Hard Way

Why recharging for this introvert is not the same as replenishing. After a few weeks of my batteries stubbornly remaining depleted, I’ve realised that recharging is not the same as replenishing for this introvert. How has it taken me this long? As an introvert I know...

read more
Learning from The Magic Faraway Tree

Learning from The Magic Faraway Tree

March 5th is celebrated as being World Book Day, and I for one, really enjoy this day. It’s widely reported that introverts love reading, and for many of us life is more like our own ‘Book Month’ or even ‘Book Year’. I love reading and in fact, am known for my...

read more
Noticing the nudges

Noticing the nudges

Have you ever been pondering something only to be bombarded with information or messages about the very thing you’ve been pondering? It’s been happening to me pretty frequently recently, and I take this as a good sign. It means I’m present and paying attention. It’s...

read more

Feeling Overlooked and Undervalued?